This Blessed Plot, This Earth, This Realm

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Can-Can Favorites

I loved Moulin Rouge when I was younger- I watched it so much in high school. And this part is definitely my favorite. I love this version of the Can-Can, also known as Spectacular, Spectacular.

If you haven't seen Peter's Friends, you must watch it immediately. It stars Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Emma Thompson, Imelda Stauton, Tony Slatterly and Kenneth Branaugh, among others. It's like a Cambridge Footlight's Reunion! The story is so sad and happy at the same time and these actors all interact so well together. This part and when they sing later in the movie are my favorite parts.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Irony of Ironies....

So last night was a pretty normal night. I watched a little Daily Show and then I chatted with Michael, read a little before going to bed. But something kept me restless. I slept well but woke up every few hours. This made my dreams really interesting. At one point, in my dream, I had decided to not wake up to run at 5:45 like I had planned. I had a rough time getting up on Wednesday and that was two days ago- clearly I was even more tired in Friday. So when I rolled over to look at my phone to see how much extra time I had given myself to sleep, I found that it was 2:50. Wow. Ok, um, clearly I had been dreaming. So I go back to sleep and again, have a similar type dream where I'm too busy hanging out to go running. I roll over again, it's 4:30- I still have an hour and a little. Finally, it's around 5:35 or so I actually get up. I immediately go put on my running clothes. Who is this person taking over my body? I'm out of the house in about five minutes and immediately start running. I have excellent pace, when I do my walking intervals, I'm back to normal breathing in less than a minute. Seriously, who is this person? The run, despite being the same length of time as my runs on Monday and Wednesday (because I'm listening to the same training podcast), flies by. What is going on? I've been reading too much sci-fi lately because I'm convinced that some weird time warp is going on. I get home and I'm energized, I'm not tired, I'm quick in the shower and out of the house at my usual time, despite having taken a shower.

Am I really starting to get better at this running thing? Geez, I just might be....

The threat of corn

So it all started with a picture... I was at the Caldwell Public Library book sale and saw this...

Immediately, my mind flew to my favorite rage-filled Polish keep, Artur Boruc. Every week, Artur publishes a list of things that make him angry on the yahoo soccer blog Dirty Tackle. Every week, corn and it's plot to take over the world is heavily featured. I knew that "Corn and Corn Improvement" would most likely cause Artur to have a conniption. So I decided to send an email.

Hi Brooks, [author of DirtyTackle]

I'm a huge fan of DirtyTackle, especially Fridays when the rage list makes its appearance (and the fact that Artur Boruc is a fan as well just makes it better). I was at a library book sale and found this in the racks. Obviously my first thought went to Artur. That probably makes me a very strange person to most people but I knew you'd appreciate. Enjoy!

Cheers,
Michal

Two days later, I received this.

Haha thanks, Michal! Artur will be using it.

Brooks

Several hours later, I check up on Artur's rage list to find this: (see highlighted material but read all of it to realize the sheer wonder of Artur and his rage).

Fri Feb 04 01:59pm EST

Artur Boruc's Friday Rage List

By Brooks Peck

AHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. WHATEVER IS STUCK IN MY TEETH -- AHHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE SOMETHING STUCK IN MY TEETH AND IT IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED!!!!!!!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!! IT MIGHT BE A PIECE OF TIGER MEAT OR IT MIGHT BE A PART OF A STEEL CHAIR THAT I BIT BECAUSE IT LOOKED SHINY AND DELICIOUS!!!!!!! STOP JUDGING ME OR I WILL HIT YOU WITH THE REST OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

2. THE RAGE LISTS THAT I WRITE -- I LIKE THE RAGE LISTS THAT I WRITE!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAKES ME ANGRY BECAUSE IT IS BOTH CONFUSING AND TERRIFYING!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH I THINK I SOMEHOW DROPKICKED A HOLE INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!!!!!!!!

3. ARJEN ROBBEN STRANGLING HIS OWN TEAMMATES -- YOU DON'T DO THIS!!!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE HOW ANNOYING THEY ARE OR HOW MANY OWN GOALS THEY SCORE ON YOU YOU CAN'T CHOKE THEM ON THE PITCH!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH I WANTED TO CHOKE GARY CALDWELL SO BAD WHEN I WAS AT CELTIC THAT MY EYEBALLS ALMOST LITERALLY SHOT OUT OF MY SKULL!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH I JUST SMASHED THIS CONTAINER OF EXPIRED YOGURT I WAS GOING TO EAT!!!!!!!!!!!

4. CORN -- AHHHHHHHHHH THE CORN HAS INVADED OUR LIBRARIES!!!!!!!!!!! SINCE I FIRST SAW THIS I HAVE HEADBUTTED 17 FARM ANIMALS AND STARTED TO WRITE A NEW BOOK CALLED "CORN AND CORN DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!" IT'S GOING TO BE AN EROTIC THRILLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [author's note: hey... this sounds familiar :) ]

5. LIVERPOOL FANS BURNING TORRES SHIRTS -- YOU DON'T BURN SHIRTS!!!!!!!!! THAT'S A TOTAL WASTE OF A PERFECTLY GOOD GARMENT!!!!!!!! YOU GIVE THE SHIRT TO A HOMELESS PERSON AND THEN SET YOURSELF ON FIRE BEFORE RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS UNTIL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT PUTS YOU OUT AND BEGS YOU NOT TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY I'M GOING TO KEEP DOING IT!!!!!!!

6. THE MANAGER WHO STOMPED THE PITCH INVADER -- STOMPING THE HEADS OF FANS IS WRONG!!!!!!!! EXCEPT WHEN THEY'RE RANGERS FANS AND YOU SEE THEM EATING DINNER IN A FANCY RESTAURANT THAT IS ABOUT TO KICK YOU OUT FOR WEARING FLIP FLOPS WITH KNIVES GLUED ONTO THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH KNIFE FLOPS ARE GOING TO BE SO HOT NEXT SEASON!!!!!!!!!

7. THE GOALKEEPER WHO TORE HIS ACL AFTER SCORING A WINNER -- THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!! A NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!! ALTHOUGH IF I EVER TEAR MY ACL I WILL DEMAND THE DOCTORS REPLACE ME KNEES WITH TRASH COMPACTORS!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!

8. LOUIS VAN GAAL SHOWING HIS BALLS TO HIS TEAM -- THIS IS AN EVEN BIGGER NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!! AN EVEN BIGGER NIGHTMARE!!!!!! IF VAN GAAL EVER SHOWED ME HIS BALLS I WOULD HEADBUTT THEM REPEATEDLY!!!!!! WAIT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT THAT WOULD LOOK LIKE AND I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO READ THAT!!!!!!! DELETE!!!!!!! DELETE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR DAN WYKOWSKI -- SO I WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE SEVERAL OF MY FRIENDS TO WATCH THE LITTLE MERMAID WITH ME AGAIN BUT THIS TIME WHILE TRYING TO SYNC IT UP TO A TAYLOR SWIFT RECORD LIKE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON AND WIZARD OF OZ WHEN I DECIDED TO SPRINT OVER TO MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR DAN WYKOWSKI'S HOUSE AND SCREAM IN HIS STUPID IDIOT FACE!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN DAN FINALLY RESPONDED TO MY ROUNDHOUSE KICKS TO HIS FRONT DOOR, HE SAID "OH ARTUR WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE" AND I SAID "THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT DAN" BUT I SAID IT IN A WAY SO HE WOULD KNOW THAT I WANT HIM TO LIVE ON A HOUSE BOAT JUST SO I CAN SINK IT!!!!!!!!!! AFTER SEVERAL MINUTES OF STARING AT EACH OTHER HE ASKED WHAT I WANTED AND I SAID "NOTHING!!!!!!!!!" AND THEN I RAN BACK TO MY HOUSE AND SANG "UNDER THE SEA" UNTIL I BLACKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH I HOPE DAN'S GOOBER KIDS GROW UP TO BE SCIENTISTS AND MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE EVEN MORE OF AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!

I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS HAS BEEN MY RAGE LIST. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! GOD BLESS!!!!!!

Photo: SE/East News

Viral Videos

Here are my top ten picks (as of February 4, 2011) for what I think are the bizarrest/funniest videos on youtube. Enjoy the videos and my commentary.

10.

Oh Asian boys singing Backstreet Boys. I'm not sure what I love more, the fact that they are so into this, or the fact that they are both clearly wearing Yao Ming jerseys. I remember them years ago, probably before there was even a youtube. This is the numa numa video were the first two I really remember watching. Oh boys, where are you these days?

Not only is this my favorite piece of music but holy mother is this kid into it! He's good! He's got rhythm and verve and style and clearly a pretty big booger. I love how he starts to wipe his nose and then goes in for the diamond. And then how cute is he when he says " this is my favorite part". Me too, little kid, me too. You're gonna go on to do big things. Oh and, do you not just love the tent in the living room? Reminds me of my childhood, except mine was a dinosaur tent.

This guy has the meanest friends in the whole world. He clearly has no idea what is going on with this treadmill. It starts to go faster and faster and faster. The best parts are his screaming (I didn't realize that nosies like that came from humans) and when he hikes up his robe because he's about to lose it. The fact that he managed to get off (just as his friend slows it down) is impressive. I probably would have collapsed too, like he did.

I call this boy in the middle the bad Russell from Up. I love Matt Bomer and Tim DeKay from White Collar. About to go watch this week's episode. Matt (on the left) is clearly well versed in the Ke$ha dance. Tim doesn't really know what's going on but he's into it. Now let's discuss the kid. He starts out looking like he's enjoying this. Then maybe he gets elbowed a few times and something changes. He starts to look angry. And then he flips the camera off! Geez, bad bad Russell from Up! And then my favorite part is that then he starts to look like he's about to be physically sick. He's clearly missed the point of the matter: He is dancing with Matt Bomer and Tim DeKay! Stupid bad Russell from Up.

So this drunkie can recite the alphabet backward faster than I can sober. Even the cop is impressed. You can tell she's getting frustrated that he is passing all her sobriety tests. Then, they fall into a ballet rehearsal.... until he admits he's drunk. Score one for the cop! Score one for us while we watch him pas de bourree.

This looks like the creators of "The End of the World" contacted a Japanese girl to tell the story of Titanic that they could put to illustrations. I love "they were shaking", and I also love Jack in a block of ice. I will never be able to watching Titanic again in the same way.

OK.... wow... no words. First of all, he's a WoW person? I know this is stereotypical, but he doesn't seem like your normal WoW player. He's kind of a cutie, for a 13-year-old. Next question- um, why does he strip while under the blanket? I love the hitting the shoe against his head. But why he is pantomiming shoving the remote/phone up his rear end. That's concerning. PS- I LOVE this little brother.

Oh he is so adorable. And I'm pretty sure this was posted like 5 years ago so this kid is probably 13. Wonder what he's like today. And who exactly is filming this? The kid? Talented little bugger. And mom, you are terrible. Please show this at blondie's wedding.

Oh my gosh, this is horrible but so funny. The lady's laughter is maniacal and that kid... oh man, that poor kid! He does look like he is about to fall out of the straps. Poor kid. But oh so funny. And again, who is filming this?

Um.... this may be one of my favorite videos ever. I want to work in an office so I can do this. I love the spinning chairs. I love the boring chick who is not getting involved (loser). They are so fun. I want to know them!

What are you favorite videos???

There are very few things...

...that I like as much as changing into sweats and curling up on the couch with a cup of tea on a Friday afternoon after a long week.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Oh no they didn't....

it took me a second reading of this cartoon to get what it was about. i was shocked and also cracked up. it reminded me of a conversation between chris sherman, kirk houston, yosh, lucas stringfield and myself in hyde park on summer.... like three days after the event this cartoon alludes to. wow.... they really went there :)

ps- is his wife's name really heather? i don't think it is. i'm pretty sure it's suzanne. larry and heather IS the name of a couple on tough love: couples. larry was kinda weird. heather was a beeyotch. i don't think they ended up making it.